He will neither fail you nor abandon you (part 2)
Two weeks ago, I posted a part one to a message titled, “He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” It’s time for part two.
After years passed what felt like a punch in the gut with having to file bankruptcy, it finally came time for it to be over with in spring of 2020. I could not have been more thankful for that season of life to be over with. However, with all things in life, seasons change and fluctuate.
At the same time, my elderly aunt with no spouse or children, had become ill and I was unable to continue to care for her at her home and provide the necessary health care that was required. I had a 10-year-old, 2-year-old and a full-time job. She needed around the clock care and medical attention beyond what I could provide for her. I was stuck feeling guilty for having to make the hard decision to put her in a nursing care facility and wanting to continue to care for her. I knew deep down what the right answer was, but doing so was heart wrenching.
This was a woman who had stepped in when I was younger to care for us when my mom was sick. She was my scout leader, driver to extra curriculars, the one who took me shopping for things when things were needed. I felt the weight of the decision but there was peace wrapped in it deep down. A God only given peace.
Fast forward to the end 2020, she passed peacefully in her sleep after battling a difficult time with fluid retention and being on full-time dialysis. Within this same time frame my marriage completely fell apart. I was an utter mess. It wasn’t overnight, truthfully it had been falling apart for years. I had already been in personal counseling for 2 years and we had tried couples counseling for a while too.
Spring of 2021 I filed for a divorce. I had already taken so many hits, losses and was in the running to absorb even more. Upon that finalization, I would lose half of my annual bonus, what was left of my 401k from bailing someone out of bad business deals and several hundred hours of sleep from worry, grief and exhaustion.
The stuck feeling was sinking its teeth in deeper and deeper as was fear and anxiety of how I was going to ever survive that next season.
My prayers were many times lined with oceans of tears.
Little did I know, months later in 2021 I received a phone call that my aunt who had passed away had put me down as her beneficiary to her 401k. It wasn’t a big amount but I will say that was a huge unexpected blessing. I was able to re-start a life for me and the girls without the financial burden looming over my head of how to do it. I was also able to repair our little farmhouse and make it cozy for us.
God saw all of the mess, the loss and hurt and restored it all. He really is a good God.
Matthew 6:26 (NLT): "Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?"
I may not know you personally, but God will always take care of us … in His time.
Please do not give up. Please do not given into the dark thoughts.
Keep holding on and keep having faith that things will work out. Things happen when we least expect them to.
I pray that whatever season you’re in, that He will come through for you. In Jesus name.
-Jamie
